Overheard in the classroom

Kids say strange things. Heck, even adults say weird stuff. Throughout my time as a teacher in Chiang Mai, I keep track of the strange things students say to me. Some of the highlights include

• "Teacher, you look like Ed Sheeran!"
• "Teacher, I look like Justin Bieber!"
• Randomly during an exam (the word heist was not on the exam)
• Student: "Miss, what is a heist?"
• Me (panicking):"Uh, when someone successfully pulls off something difficult like stealing 5 million baht." *his eyes proceed to bulge out of his head*
• When writing a review of their favorite film:
• Gun (student): "Teacher I don't know the characters names."
• Me: "Gun, this is supposed to be your favorite movie. What do you mean you don't know the characters? You should pick another movie."
• Gun: "Ok teacher" *Writes a film review about a movie where he doesn't know any of the characters names and just uses pronouns, making it impossible to follow the plot*
• Student begins waving as my co-teacher and I enter the classroom
• Me: "Oh you must be happy we're here and to have English class!"
• Student: "No." *Panics upon realizing he just told me he's not happy to have class
• Before the classes lunch break
• Co-teacher: "Would you like your break? What's the magic word?"
• Student: "Goodbye teacher!" *They proceed to take a break
• Another student in a different class: "Release me!"
• I have twins in my grade who are not in the same class
• Me: "What is your nickname and what is your twin's nickname?"
• Twin 1: "My nickname is Win. My brother is Won."
• Me: *internally* Well that certainly is interesting and those are some very confident nicknames. I am now wondering if they chose those names themselves, since many Thai kids pick their own nicknames.
• Student comes into class hiding something under his shirt
• Me: "What do you have under there?"
• Student: "A cat." *pulls out a cat and lets the cat run loose in the room.
• They don't tell you what to do when a student brings a cat to class when you learn how to be a teacher
• I didn't have a lesson planned (just being honest), so we played Scattergories.
• Me: "Name an item of clothing that begins with the letter H."
• Student: "Horns!...Like a Viking!"
• Me: "I'll give it to you, I guess."
• Me: "Name an animal that begins with the letter G."
• Student: "Grandmother."
• Me: "Well, that's one answer, I guess."
• While playing charades
• Me: "What do you say when you want someone to marry you?"
• Student: "Where's my ring!"
• During an exam
• Student: "Teacher, what is diarrhea?"
• Me: *Trying not to laugh, but also think of an appropriate way to tell him "It's when you go to the bathroom and can't control it."
• Student sitting in the back of the room with an ENORMOUS grin
• Me: "What do you have in that water bottle?"
• Student: *Lifts up a water bottle "These are my shrimps and they are my new family."
• Me: *Looking at the live shrimp "Ok great. Just put them away during class. Are you going to eat them?"
• Student: "Only if they die."

So there you have it, some of the funny things my students have told me throughout the year!