Friday, March 10, 2017

Overheard in the classroom

Kids say strange things. Heck, even adults say weird stuff. Throughout my time as a teacher in Chiang Mai, I keep track of the strange things students say to me. Some of the highlights include
  • "Teacher, you look like Ed Sheeran!"
  • "Teacher, I look like Justin Bieber!"
  • Randomly during an exam (the word heist was not on the exam)
    • Student: "Miss, what is a heist?"
    • Me (panicking):"Uh, when someone successfully pulls off something difficult like stealing 5 million baht." *his eyes proceed to bulge out of his head*
  • When writing a review of their favorite film:
    • Gun (student): "Teacher I don't know the characters names."
    • Me: "Gun, this is supposed to be your favorite movie. What do you mean you don't know the characters? You should pick another movie."
    • Gun: "Ok teacher" *Writes a film review about a movie where he doesn't know any of the characters names and just uses pronouns, making it impossible to follow the plot*
  • Student begins waving as my co-teacher and I enter the classroom
    • Me: "Oh you must be happy we're here and to have English class!"
    • Student: "No." *Panics upon realizing he just told me he's not happy to have class
  • Before the classes lunch break
    • Co-teacher: "Would you like your break? What's the magic word?"
    • Student: "Goodbye teacher!" *They proceed to take a break
    • Another student in a different class: "Release me!"
  • I have twins in my grade who are not in the same class
    • Me: "What is your nickname and what is your twin's nickname?"
    • Twin 1: "My nickname is Win. My brother is Won."
    • Me: *internally* Well that certainly is interesting and those are some very confident nicknames. I am now wondering if they chose those names themselves, since many Thai kids pick their own nicknames.
  • Student comes into class hiding something under his shirt
    • Me: "What do you have under there?"
    • Student: "A cat." *pulls out a cat and lets the cat run loose in the room.
      • They don't tell you what to do when a student brings a cat to class when you learn how to be a teacher
  • I didn't have a lesson planned (just being honest), so we played Scattergories.
    • Me: "Name an item of clothing that begins with the letter H."
    • Student: "Horns!...Like a Viking!"
    • Me: "I'll give it to you, I guess."
    • Me: "Name an animal that begins with the letter G."
    • Student: "Grandmother."
    • Me: "Well, that's one answer, I guess."
  • While playing charades
    • Me: "What do you say when you want someone to marry you?"
    • Student: "Where's my ring!"
  • During an exam
    • Student: "Teacher, what is diarrhea?"
    • Me: *Trying not to laugh, but also think of an appropriate way to tell him "It's when you go to the bathroom and can't control it."
  • Student sitting in the back of the room with an ENORMOUS grin
    • Me: "What do you have in that water bottle?"
    • Student: *Lifts up a water bottle "These are my shrimps and they are my new family."
    • Me: *Looking at the live shrimp "Ok great. Just put them away during class. Are you going to eat them?"
    • Student: "Only if they die."
So there you have it, some of the funny things my students have told me throughout the year!